Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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