if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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