If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
try to milk me bitch
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
