if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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