This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
