Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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