I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
