Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
