I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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