Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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