ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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