Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We need to rekindle our bromance
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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