when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I seem to have left my pride at pride
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize