hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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