when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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