the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
