'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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