Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
