I must be too annoying 4 u.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
