I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
