Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
