Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize