She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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