Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
