Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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