ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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