yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
