i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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