yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
