im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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