I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i have herpe
just one?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
