Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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