I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
