is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
