i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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