I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
