I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
