Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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