when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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