Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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