Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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