everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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