So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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