Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
