I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
