ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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