Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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