Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
