i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
