I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
