We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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