i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
