New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
