Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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