Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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