No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love having hate sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
