in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
