direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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