Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
