So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
