everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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