Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
